“Unreal.”
He hardly noticed the lurch of the train leaving the station. His attention was on two small pieces of paper in his lap. One…a 30-year old candy bar wrapper with the words “Forever yours!” indelibly scribed. The other…a plain white sheet with “Go home.” in large girlish print. Hearts for “o”s.
“It had to be Lisa!”
He certainly didn’t know her handwriting anymore (the last time she wrote him was in the 4th grade!) but he sure as heck remembered the wrapper. Lisa loved chocolate. So naturally his love notes to her had all been written on the inside of candy bar sleeves.
“Probably the most romantic thing I’ve ever done,” he mumbled to himself. “How sad is that.”
Surprisingly, he remembered the day he gave her this particular note.
……….
She wore a soft yellow dress with a red barrette in her hair. They’d spent the morning in the woods next to his home. Lisa had read the note and was happily kissing him for it, when they were stunned by a roar coming from the house!
Dad was home…
…and Mom was in for it again.
“Go home.” Lisa had said it then, too.
When he got to the door his Mom was alone in the kitchen, sobbing over half-made sandwiches. Glancing up, she caught him in the doorway, her eyes filled with despair. So in need of love! So in need of affirmation! So in need of someone just to hold to!
He hesitated…
…then turned away.
……….
The train was well on it’s way now. In the windows, the city was being replaced by fields and trees. “Like rolling into the past,” he thought.
A woman across the aisle caught his eye. “Hey!” he blurted out, astonished by the sight of his ex-wife.
She turned from her book and smiled. “Hi. Going home?”
“Yep. Thought I’d check on Mom.”
“Good for you.” And with that she was back in her book.
“Well that’s a bit cold,” he thought. “But then again, she was the best thing I ever had. Seven great years with a beautiful woman and I turned away from that too, didn’t I?”
He began picking through painful memories to determine exactly why he’d left her, but was interrupted by a second familiar face.
The old man walked by with a drink in hand and gave him a nod. No “Hello!” or “How’s it going?”. No words at all. Just a nod.
“But then,” he figured “I hardly deserve more.” The old man had spent a decade preparing him to become a partner in their firm. An offer he turned down without a thought.
“This is going to be a fun trip.”
He scowled down at the notes in his lap. “Go home!” it said. “Why?”
When he looked back up he glanced around and quickly realized there were more faces from his past sitting nearby:
- The neighbor boy who asked for help with his bike. …”Sorry. Work to do.”
- The college professor who offered to help him get into that grad program. …”Too expensive.”
- His first passionate love affair, who begged him to travel the world. …”Just don’t know.”
“What the hell is this?!” He jumped from his seat and ran down the aisle, scanning car after car, desperately searching for an unfamiliar face. But every face he found held another memory. Another opportunity wasted. Another turning away.
Some of them came out of yesterday: The panhandler he always tried to avoid. The old lady who’d dropped her groceries in the street.
Some came from his youth: Faces that hadn’t aged a day, carrying their faded memories painfully into the present.
Struggling for sanity, he burst into the last car. “There’s got to be something real in here!” He eyed the last door, the door to nowhere. A drastic choice but better than this purgatory.
Then his wild eyes fell upon a soft yellow dress, leading to a red barrette. Lisa sat next to an empty seat, smiling her 10-year old smile. “You can sit next to me!”
So he sat.
The rest of the journey was filled with conversation. Lisa chirped question after question, listening intently as he poured out each and every epidode of his painful life. With each answer the memory of it faded to a dream. The heavy weight of unfulfilled promises lifted. The faces of failure disappeared.
Until, at the end of the journey, a girl and boy walked off an empty train.
……….
They ran, hand in hand, down the old streets to his home.
“Come in here!” Lisa smiled mischievously, leading him into the woods. When they came to their familiar hiding spot he timidly gave her a note he’d written on a candy bar wrapper…
“Forever yours!”
She leaned in and whispered “I’ll hold you to it!” then kissed him.
They were stunned by a roar coming from the house!
Dad was home…
…and Mom was in for it again.
“Go home.” Lisa said.
When he got to the door his Mom was alone in the kitchen, sobbing over half-made sandwiches. Glancing up, she caught him in the doorway, her eyes filled with despair. So in need of love! So in need of affirmation! So in need of someone just to hold to.
He hesitated…
…then opened the door. “Mom?”
6 Comments
Thought provoking, Painfully enviable to have found oneself in such a position that journeyed back to a place where only one word could have made such a profound difference. If only……..
Good story. Its tough to fit so much in to only 1000 words so I have to say you did very well. I have only one question, where did the “go home” paper with hearts for O’s come from?
Great story Robert, You painted a good picture in just 1000 words. I like the first person naritive style. The theme of crossroads or chances denied is a strong one.
Robert, very engaging. Most if not all have had some experience of “You can’t go back home again.” not to mention a stack of regrets & missed opportunities. You draw a suggestive sketch on why we can’t fo back then splash it with vibrant colors in rich tones. As you bring us along with fairly stark & surprising branching, you assemble your ideas in a way that allows the reader to fill in the blanks with personal elements bonding us like family to the protagonist. Well done! Good luck in the contest. In my book, you should easily reach the top tier.
Very good, Robert, you’re an excellent writer.
Absolutely amazing Robert. It reminds me of the times that we would be playing out in front of my home as a young boy and there was always the occasion when Vicki Spencer would be riding around the neighborhood with my cousins who were the same age as I was.
She was my girlfriend, the dollar ring that she wore on her finger told everyone so. I believe we were connected that way for about a year, although I do not remember saying more than one or two words to her that entire time. Most of the communication was done through her older sister. You see, Vicki was a princess to me and I have seen her occasionally over the last 30 years. I have often wondered what would have happened had we met at a later date in life.
It was the warm evenings of summer that I come to mind the most from those days, but it was going home in the evenings to find my mother cooking dinner and that smell that would surround you as you walked in. No regrets there, only the longing for the memories that I remember and cherish the most.
Thanks for bringing back the memories, well done!