Lots.

Over the past few months I have been giving meaningful thought to the question “How do I live a more meaningful life?” Don’t get me wrong, my life is blessed with meaning! My wife, my kids, my friends, my association with the marvelous members of Apex: all contribute to a full and vigorous existence.

Yet the question remains.  And questions need answers.

A few years back I left an enjoyable, if humble, occupation in the Corporate Apparel and Branded Goods industry.  The reason I left was simple.  I had searched a long time for a way to contribute substantially to my community through my work.  When an answer failed to make itself known I set out along another path in search of greater purpose.  The contribution I have been fortunate enough to make on that path is something of which I am extremely proud.

Yet the call to do even more has steadily grown.  I have coached speakers and writers.  I have started my own communication training program.  I have looked intently at the non-profit world.  And it was while considering the non-profit industry that a very small light bulb turned on.  I say it was small because the thought it represented was so incredibly simple:  ”If a person in the non-profit field is willing to work for something less than their due, knowing that the difference is more than made up for by their contribution to the greater good, why can’t the same be done in the for-profit world?”

That question was the seed from which Better Way Trading appeared.

Better Way Trading is neither a business nor a non-profit. It is simply a commitment to support the efforts of those who work on behalf of all of us. It is also a unique mechanism for making this happen in a way that benefits everyone involved: non-profits, my employer, my clients and myself.

With this new and energizing answer as my fuel, I have enthusiastically re-entered my earlier profession.  I am continuing the great work being done in Apex, and will continue to do so as long as there are those who want to learn. Additionally, I am now working for an outstanding Corporate Apparel and Ad Specialties company, Branding Merchandise, in a way that will have a truly meaningful impact for the communities I serve.

There, now you’re caught up. I truly hope that you have much to be thankful for in this time of Thankfulness and Giving. I would love to hear from each of you in the weeks to come. Feel free to send me a note at robert.killen (at) betterwaytrading (dot) com.

Cheers!
   Robert

www.betterwaytrading.com (The site is up but still being worked on. Take a look and let me know what you think!)
www.brandingmerchandise.com

He hardly noticed the lurch of the train leaving the station. His attention was on two small pieces of paper in his lap. One…a 30-year old candy bar wrapper with the words “Forever yours!” indelibly scribed. The other…a plain white sheet with “Go home.” in large girlish print. Hearts for “o”s.

“It had to be Lisa!”

He certainly didn’t know her handwriting anymore (the last time she wrote him was in the 4th grade!) but he sure as heck remembered the wrapper. Lisa loved chocolate. So naturally his love notes to her had all been written on the inside of candy bar sleeves.

“Probably the most romantic thing I’ve ever done,” he mumbled to himself. “How sad is that.”

Surprisingly, he remembered the day he gave her this particular note.

……….

She wore a soft yellow dress with a red barrette in her hair. They’d spent the morning in the woods next to his home. Lisa had read the note and was happily kissing him for it, when they were stunned by a roar coming from the house!

Dad was home…

…and Mom was in for it again.

“Go home.” Lisa had said it then, too.

When he got to the door his Mom was alone in the kitchen, sobbing over half-made sandwiches. Glancing up, she caught him in the doorway, her eyes filled with despair. So in need of love! So in need of affirmation! So in need of someone just to hold to!

He hesitated…

…then turned away.

……….

The train was well on it’s way now. In the windows, the city was being replaced by fields and trees. “Like rolling into the past,” he thought.

A woman across the aisle caught his eye. “Hey!” he blurted out, astonished by the sight of his ex-wife.

She turned from her book and smiled. “Hi. Going home?”

“Yep. Thought I’d check on Mom.”

“Good for you.” And with that she was back in her book.

“Well that’s a bit cold,” he thought. “But then again, she was the best thing I ever had. Seven great years with a beautiful woman and I turned away from that too, didn’t I?”

He began picking through painful memories to determine exactly why he’d left her, but was interrupted by a second familiar face.

The old man walked by with a drink in hand and gave him a nod. No “Hello!” or “How’s it going?”. No words at all. Just a nod.

“But then,” he figured “I hardly deserve more.” The old man had spent a decade preparing him to become a partner in their firm. An offer he turned down without a thought.

“This is going to be a fun trip.”

He scowled down at the notes in his lap. “Go home!” it said. “Why?”

When he looked back up he glanced around and quickly realized there were more faces from his past sitting nearby:

- The neighbor boy who asked for help with his bike. …”Sorry. Work to do.”
- The college professor who offered to help him get into that grad program. …”Too expensive.”
- His first passionate love affair, who begged him to travel the world. …”Just don’t know.”

“What the hell is this?!” He jumped from his seat and ran down the aisle, scanning car after car, desperately searching for an unfamiliar face. But every face he found held another memory. Another opportunity wasted. Another turning away.

Some of them came out of yesterday: The panhandler he always tried to avoid. The old lady who’d dropped her groceries in the street.

Some came from his youth: Faces that hadn’t aged a day, carrying their faded memories painfully into the present.

Struggling for sanity, he burst into the last car. “There’s got to be something real in here!” He eyed the last door, the door to nowhere. A drastic choice but better than this purgatory.

Then his wild eyes fell upon a soft yellow dress, leading to a red barrette. Lisa sat next to an empty seat, smiling her 10-year old smile. “You can sit next to me!”

So he sat.

The rest of the journey was filled with conversation. Lisa chirped question after question, listening intently as he poured out each and every epidode of his painful life. With each answer the memory of it faded to a dream. The heavy weight of unfulfilled promises lifted. The faces of failure disappeared.

Until, at the end of the journey, a girl and boy walked off an empty train.

……….

They ran, hand in hand, down the old streets to his home.

“Come in here!” Lisa smiled mischievously, leading him into the woods. When they came to their familiar hiding spot he timidly gave her a note he’d written on a candy bar wrapper…

“Forever yours!”

She leaned in and whispered “I’ll hold you to it!” then kissed him.

They were stunned by a roar coming from the house!

Dad was home…

…and Mom was in for it again.

“Go home.” Lisa said.

When he got to the door his Mom was alone in the kitchen, sobbing over half-made sandwiches. Glancing up, she caught him in the doorway, her eyes filled with despair. So in need of love! So in need of affirmation! So in need of someone just to hold to.

He hesitated…

…then opened the door. “Mom?”

Anyway, it made me think about the odds of getting struck by lightning (576,000:1) or inspired by it (1:1).  As exciting as it would be to get hit, a young man was hit here just a few days ago (and he’s doing fine) so I figure the odds are even longer.  And standing out in the rain holding up a tall metal rod would just look stupid.  So instead I spent some time being inspired.  And wouldn’t you know it, I got hit anyway!

A few weeks back I introduced my PURPOSE acronym (here) which begins with the three essential attributes of effective presentations: Passion, Utility and Recall.  A few weeks later I followed that with a more detailed discussion of Passion (here).  But since then I have struggled with an effective way to communicate the critical importance of Utility.  Then today, in a flash of lightning, it struck me: my answer sits in the hands of Zeus.  …the Thunderbolt!

The Thunderbolt is Zeus’s weapon of choice.  A handheld bundle of electricity ready to do it’s masters bidding.  And though I have no intention to hurt anyone in my presentations (at least it hasn’t come up so far) it is always my intent to tranform the audience with some bright flash of inspiration.

Imagine yourself on stage, the audience just sitting there enjoying your peaceful patter, when suddenly you become Zeus and start flinging lightning bolts.  I’m not talking about your volume or your energy, although they might get incorporated.  I’m talking about bits of wisdom with the ability to transform someone’s thinking.  Flashes of inspiration that clearly illustrate the “struck by lightning” metaphor.

You could be presenting something as simple as a new product or as profound as a transformational philosophy for life.  However Utility is defined for your presentation, the critical piece is that it be defined!  Too many presenters fail to do this and lean on a broad collection of proven points to ensure their success.  As entertaining as this might be in the short term, the audience will quickly forget why they came.

And although the balance of presenters do determine the Utility of their speech, the clarification of it is limited to a summary of bullet points rehashing what came before.  Now don’t get me wrong.  This summary is very valuable, but so much more is possible!

If you want your wisdom to have a meaningful and lasting impact, define your intent then craft your Thunderbolts!  Think of them as electrifying phrases, bits of wisdom that can transform one’s view of life.  The more electrifying you make them the more valuable your presentation.

When speaking about the miracle of our existence, I will often ask the question “You spend your life…(long pause)  On what?”  I use this phrase to highlight how we have incorporated into our language the idea that life itself is a marketable commodity.  Obviously it’s not.  And the question forces an acknowledgement of, or perhaps even a shift into, a new paradigm for life.  This is an example of a Thunderbolt.

If you want to be remembered as a great presenter, do more than just the basics.  A summary of key points will give your audience something to take home.  But by becoming Zeus and wielding electrifying bits of wisdom you have the opportunity to do so much more!  Take that opportunity.  Do something legendary!

Cheers!
   Robert

It turns out he was assisting a friend of mine who presented at an event.  And I’ll tell you what, he was in top form!  Do you remember being out with someone who consistently stole your punch line or kept pulling the conversation away from you (even knowing that you’d waited MONTHS for this precious opportunity to talk with her!?  For Pete’s sake!  I mean my knees buckled whenever she walked by!  What the…)  I’m sorry.  I digress…

So this acquaintance of yours - this Glory Sucker – is a living irony.  He makes his living “helping” people with their speaking engagements and, ironically, FAR MORE OFTEN THAN NOT ends up spoiling the whole show.  To be fair, I’ve seen him do great things, which is why he keeps getting the calls, but when he’s off…dang!

He often goes by his initials: PP  You probably know him by his stage name: PowerPoint. 

And he is a Glory Sucker.  But it’s not his fault!  His favorite movie quote is Jessica Rabbit’s famous line: “I’m not bad.  I’m just drawn that way!”

The problem is two fold.  First, (like Jessica) the audience can’t keep their eyes off him and second, we rarely give him the right material to work with!

What do we give him?  We either give him a jumble of concepts and hope that he can make it appear organized or we give him everything we’ve got in hopes that he’ll keep us on track.  And I guess sometimes we give him everything we’ve got IN A JUMBLED HEAP!  Ouch.

Here’s the problem…all things being equal PP has greater stage presence than any speaker out there (Yes, even greater than you!).  Unless his material is VERY CAREFULLY prepared he is going to steal the spotlight.  It’s inevitable.  If a speaker reads from the screen, the speaker has made PP the expert and he is now superfluous.  If PP’s content is haphazardly assembled it’s as if some random person is sporadically jumping on stage and delivering the speaker’s lines.  If stats are thrown up and explained after the fact, any dramatic effect is killed.

So what do we do?

Know this, PP can give a performance worthy of an Oscar.  But the material has to be right and the only Oscar he should ever be up for is Actor in a SUPPORTING Role.  Here’s how…

First, define his character.  PP needs consistency and clarity.

• If PP is there to provide statistical evidence for your position, that’s fine.  Make certain he knows it.  Don’t overwhelm him with data.  Use simple and clear visuals (graphs and charts) that make the audience go “wow.”  If there’s no “wow” don’t do it!
• If he’s there for color, fantastic!  Use him to illustrate your words with images, bold text and tiny quotes.  Give him an occasional leading line, then step back and let the audience read it.  They’ll appreciate your generosity and, when you step back up to take control, will be right there with you.
• He can also be a fantastic partner in humor.  Tell a joke and give him the punch line.  Give him occasional sight gags (humorous photos) you can then narrate.  This is a fantastic role for PP and he enjoys doing it immensely!

Second, get him off stage when he has no lines.  Don’t leave him hanging there while you move on to new territory.  Put up a neutral shot until he returns with something meaningful to contribute.  Otherwise, he’s stuck, unwillingly drawing attention away from you.

Finally, let him take a bow with you at final curtain.  No matter what role he’s played, he is very well suited to summarizing your crucial points.  But keep him in character as much as possible.  If he’s been providing color, make certain that his summary matches the visual style.  If he’s been a jokester, give him something fun to end with.

In the end, understand that PP doesn’t mean to be a glory sucker but he can’t help it if he’s not given the right material.  Use him poorly and he will make an almighty mess of things.  In fact in this case it would be far better not to call on him at all.  But use him well and he’ll generously return the favor, and make you look like a star!

Cheers!
   Robert

It was a gorgeous day, so we packed the boys into the car with water and otter pops and hit the road.  We headed for a beautiful fish hatchery about 40 minutes away.  When we got there we found a fly fishing clinic going on.  Great Big Fish in a large pond with newbie fisherfolk intently, vigorously and joyfully flailing the water. 

After watching this show for a bit, I got curious.  “Just what would it take to entice one of these big, dumb monsters (the fish, that is)?”  A short while later…

“You can’t fish here!”

The ODFW officer wasn’t rude or belligerent, just very ‘matter of fact.’  “This is a private event and the lake is closed to any other fishing.”  He said his peace and strode by so quickly he didn’t see the stunned disbelief that had leapt onto my face.  That’s probably good, ’cause who really needs an argument.

But here’s the thing…  I was ‘fishing’ with the following gear:

• Rod – a 5ft long dead stick
• Line – 3 blades of grass knotted end to end to form one 20″ strand
• Lure – a 1/4″ round piece of something brown that fell out of a tree
• Hook – nada

According to the ODFW regulations angling means “To take or attempt to take fish for personal use by hook and line.”  Based on that definition I can’t find a single part of the regulation that applies.  There is no possible way I was going to successfully “take or attempt to take” fish, unless in a fit of laughter they accidentally slapped themselves out of the water and onto the dirt.  Even then, I had no hook.  And the best line I had available was “Hey baby, are you a Pisces?”

So why am I writing about this?  I’m not upset.  After all, Mr. Officer was just doing his job.  I’m writing about it because it brings to mind something we all do and rarely consider: predetermination.

We are very good at cataloguing personalities.  As people come through our lives we experience them, stick a label on their foreheads and stuff them into the appropriate file – friendly, demon spawn, brains of a turnip, etc.  This is convenient and effective most of the time.  However, it does make it terribly easy to predetermine a label before all the evidence is in.

For example, Mr. Officer probably stuck ‘brains of a turnip’ on me as soon as he saw something dangling.  And being polite, I returned the favor immediately.  The problem lies in our tendency to predetermine a character based on prior experience.  It’s easy.  The earlier we catalogue someone the quicker we’ll be able to estimate their responses and reactions.

But in ‘real life’ people are not so easily labeled.

Each life is filled with stories, crossroads, challenges and joys.  There is no ‘average person.’  We are all individual adventurers with our own tales to share.  The tendency to predetermine undermines this glorious truth.

When you find yourself labeling someone, step back and summon your curiosity.  Since we are more likely to pre-label those with whom we disagree, doing so further entrenches us in our own dispositions.  If we withhold the label and meet that individual with curiosity instead, we might just grow a little.  And that’s not such a bad thing.

On one hand, I would have liked Mr. Officer to come up to see what I was doing instead of presuming I had turnip for brains.  On the other hand, if he had I wouldn’t have had any reason to write this.  …which proves that fishing is great!  Even if all you have is a dead stick, grass and something brown you can still hook into something wonderful.

Cheers!
    Robert