Where have I been?

It has been a long time since I last posted here. So what’s up?

Lots.

Over the past few months I have been giving meaningful thought to the question “How do I live a more meaningful life?” Don’t get me wrong, my life is blessed with meaning! My wife, my kids, my friends, my association with the marvelous members of Apex: all contribute to a full and vigorous existence.

Yet the question remains.  And questions need answers.

A few years back I left an enjoyable, if humble, occupation in the Corporate Apparel and Branded Goods industry.  The reason I left was simple.  I had searched a long time for a way to contribute substantially to my community through my work.  When an answer failed to make itself known I set out along another path in search of greater purpose.  The contribution I have been fortunate enough to make on that path is something of which I am extremely proud.

Yet the call to do even more has steadily grown.  I have coached speakers and writers.  I have started my own communication training program.  I have looked intently at the non-profit world.  And it was while considering the non-profit industry that a very small light bulb turned on.  I say it was small because the thought it represented was so incredibly simple:  ”If a person in the non-profit field is willing to work for something less than their due, knowing that the difference is more than made up for by their contribution to the greater good, why can’t the same be done in the for-profit world?”BWTlogo

That question was the seed from which Better Way Trading appeared.

Better Way Trading is neither a business nor a non-profit. It is simply a commitment to support the efforts of those who work on behalf of all of us. It is also a unique mechanism for making this happen in a way that benefits everyone involved: non-profits, my employer, my clients and myself.

With this new and energizing answer as my fuel, I have enthusiastically re-entered my earlier profession.  I am continuing the great work being done in Apex, and will continue to do so as long as there are those who want to learn. Additionally, I am now working for an outstanding Corporate Apparel and Ad Specialties company, Branding Merchandise, in a way that will have a truly meaningful impact for the communities I serve.

There, now you’re caught up. I truly hope that you have much to be thankful for in this time of Thankfulness and Giving. I would love to hear from each of you in the weeks to come. Feel free to send me a note at robert.killen (at) betterwaytrading (dot) com.

Cheers!
   Robert

www.betterwaytrading.com (The site is up but still being worked on. Take a look and let me know what you think!)
www.brandingmerchandise.com

The Candy Bar Wrapper

“Unreal.”

He hardly noticed the lurch of the train leaving the station. His attention was on two small pieces of paper in his lap. One…a 30-year old candy bar wrapper with the words “Forever yours!” indelibly scribed. The other…a plain white sheet with “Go home.” in large girlish print. Hearts for “o”s.

“It had to be Lisa!”

He certainly didn’t know her handwriting anymore (the last time she wrote him was in the 4th grade!) but he sure as heck remembered the wrapper. Lisa loved chocolate. So naturally his love notes to her had all been written on the inside of candy bar sleeves.

“Probably the most romantic thing I’ve ever done,” he mumbled to himself. “How sad is that.”

Surprisingly, he remembered the day he gave her this particular note.
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Becoming Zeus

A thunderstorm came through today that forced the question “Did Zeus build himself a vacation home here?”  A lot of other people did and the mountains are fantastic, so who knows?  Maybe he stopped by to fix it up prior to a short sell.

Anyway, it made me think about the odds of getting struck by lightning (576,000:1) or inspired by it (1:1).  As exciting as it would be to get hit, a young man was hit here just a few days ago (and he’s doing fine) so I figure the odds are even longer.  And standing out in the rain holding up a tall metal rod would just look stupid.  So instead I spent some time being inspired.  And wouldn’t you know it, I got hit anyway!

A few weeks back I introduced my PURPOSE acronym (here) which begins with the three essential attributes of effective presentations: Passion, Utility and Recall.  A few weeks later I followed that with a more detailed discussion of Passion (here).  But since then I have struggled with an effective way to communicate the critical importance of Utility.  Then today, in a flash of lightning, it struck me: my answer sits in the hands of Zeus.  …the Thunderbolt!

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The Glory Sucker

I recently ran into an acquaintance of yours.  No, really, I did.  I’ll leave you guessing for a couple minutes.  But here are a few clues…

It turns out he was assisting a friend of mine who presented at an event.  And I’ll tell you what, he was in top form!  Do you remember being out with someone who consistently stole your punch line or kept pulling the conversation away from you (even knowing that you’d waited MONTHS for this precious opportunity to talk with her!?  For Pete’s sake!  I mean my knees buckled whenever she walked by!  What the…)  I’m sorry.  I digress…

So this acquaintance of yours - this Glory Sucker – is a living irony.  He makes his living “helping” people with their speaking engagements and, ironically, FAR MORE OFTEN THAN NOT ends up spoiling the whole show.  To be fair, I’ve seen him do great things, which is why he keeps getting the calls, but when he’s off…dang!

He often goes by his initials: PP  You probably know him by his stage name: PowerPoint.  read more »

“You can’t fish here!”

I admit it. I got in trouble with ODFW (Or. Dept. of Fish and Wildlife) this weekend. And in front of my own kids no less!

It was a gorgeous day, so we packed the boys into the car with water and otter pops and hit the road.  We headed for a beautiful fish hatchery about 40 minutes away.  When we got there we found a fly fishing clinic going on.  Great Big Fish in a large pond with newbie fisherfolk intently, vigorously and joyfully flailing the water. 

After watching this show for a bit, I got curious.  “Just what would it take to entice one of these big, dumb monsters (the fish, that is)?”  A short while later…

“You can’t fish here!”

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You Must Choose

This past week I was asked a very good…no…I was asked a transformational question, one which forced me to give considerable thought to a core belief.  Happily, the more I thought about it the more certain of this belief I became.  For those of you who are unaware, my work is helping individuals and organizations uncover and develop the stories which identify who they are at their very best.  Having worked through this process they are then able to become the very best versions of themselves – a goal to which each of us should aspire!

The question revolved around the topic of authenticity.  I have publicly stated that the language of commerce has changed.  It is no longer driven by discussions of features and benefits.  In this new commerce, the language is ‘authenticity.’  Today we are required to share who we are at a deeper level than we have known in decades.  It is my belief that the stories which illustrate us as professionals are the best tools we have to communicate our authentic selves.

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Passionately Speaking

The moment arrives. You begin to speak. Within minutes you notice a few audience members drifting away. A couple are mezmerized by their cell phones, a few are diligently making doodles on your handout and several are giving significant consideration to the cobwebs on the ceiling. “What is going on?” You think back on your preparation…

  • The research is sound.
  • Your slides are just right.
  • The topic is pertinent to the audience.
  • You’ve given some thought to your voice, hands and posture.
  • You even had a good writer check your speech for structure and clarity.

Where did it all go wrong?

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“I’ve got you.”

The time has come to say “goodbye.”

As I watch them strap her in, it’s clear I won’t be getting another chance.

But what do I say when I LIVE purely by the grace of her sacrifice? …the bitter consequence of choices I made on December 23rd, 1986; when she and I journeyed through darkness and dreams to a narrow ledge at the very edge of death, and I learned of fate, forgiveness and friendship. Especially friendship.

For Rusty was my best friend. She was adventurous, joyful and filled with humility as only a 1972 Volkswagen bus can be!

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From twit to Twitter: a non-believer – transformed

1twit·ter 
Pronunciation: \ˈtwi-tər\
Function: verb
1: to utter successive chirping noises
2 a: to talk in a chattering fashion b: giggle, titter
3: to tremble with agitation : flutter

I LOVE WORDS! I love their ancestry. I love their power. And I love the way they taste when well spoken. Any word, when deeply considered, can launch a thousand stories (think “grass” or “dress”).  One word, at the perfect moment, can change a life (think “yes”). I love words.

Twitter is a word.  In fact, twitter is a great word! It’s onomatopoetic (I never get to use that!), meaning the word sounds like its sense. It evokes all sorts of images: small birds twitching on limbs; adolescent friends’ high-pitched and ceaseless chatter; an uncontrollable shaking brought on by nervousness.

But it is not a word that evokes the strength, scope and utility it has newly come to represent!

I was a non-believer. I am transformed. This is why…

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Know Your PURPOSE

This week’s post is an introduction to the method I use to craft meaningful stories, and the acronym I’ve created to share it.  – Robert

We have all been there before: sitting in our seats listening to a darned good speaker who makes us laugh and reflect and nod like bobble-head dolls, all on cue.  And then, three to five minutes after the speaker is done, we can’t remember what it was that kept us so engaged much less what we were supposed to do with it.  Any time this happens the presenter failed either to ask this question… “What is your purpose?” or to deliver on its answer.

The first time it was asked of me had nothing to do with speaking.

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One Conversation at a Time

We’ve all heard it said that adults fear public speaking more than their own death. As Jerry Seinfeld puts it, “I guess this means that most people at a funeral would rather be in the coffin than delivering the eulogy.” Would it spoil the joke if I let you in on a secret? Well, either way I am going to. Here goes…

…three

…two

…one

“Public Speaking” is a myth!  Surprise!!

Now don’t get me wrong, I am well aware that people speak to large groups of ‘public’ every day. The myth lies in the presumuption that ‘public speaking’ is fundamentally different than any other mode of speaking. It’s not.  Furthermore, my own experience has taught me that understanding the truth of this is the single greatest key to conquering the speaking fear.

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Storytelling at the Dawn of Civilization

A while back (say somewhere between 10,000 and 50,000 years ago) we humans started to get with it. Tired of sitting around the fire staring at the same faces night after night, our small clans began discussing the benefits of joining together with other small clans. If we gathered enough of us together (we figured) all sorts of opportunities might present themselves: large scale agriculture, a more efficient division of labor, discos. So that’s what we did. And civilization dawned.

Now the question is “Why then?”. We had been sitting around the fires with our semi-nomadic family units for a couple million years. Why the sudden interest in discos?

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“Give, and you shall receive.”

“Give, and you shall receive.”

A pretty simple idea, really.  Live generously, and your reward will come – eventually, in some way or another.  But today I’d like to consider this proverb in an unusual condition.  I’d like to apply it to a conversation.

Most of the time, when we think of ‘giving,’ what we refer to could be any of a number of things.  It could be money or possessions or perhaps time.  Frankly, it could be anything at all.  The only requirement of the gift, in order to live up to the proverb’s promise, is that giving it requires some sacrifice on the giver’s part.

So what does this mean in a conversation? read more »

The Compass

“Two roads diverged in a wood, and I–
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference”
                                                 – Robert Frost

Thanks to Frost’s famous poem “The Road Not Taken,” I can’t help but visualize my journey through life as a walk down a wooded path.  For most of us our path is reasonably well defined.  We can pick up what we need along the way – money, shelter, friendship – and we have a pretty clear notion of where we’re headed.  Sometimes the path gets steep or rocky.  Many times the path splits and we have to choose which direction to go.  But there is almost always an identifiable path before us. read more »

Beauty Along the Way

beauty-along-the-way1A couple weeks ago I headed over the mountains with my wife and boys to a small gathering in the Willamette Valley.  Given the time of year, I expected rain and grey and lots of both.  With these somber expectations in my head, I was stunned by a magnificent scene about halfway there.  We rounded another turn in the road and I was blinded.  Sun bounced off the river next to us and smacked me square in the face; shouting “Pay attention!  You’re missing things here!”  From that point on I reveled in the spectacular beauty of a river winding through dark trees under a surprising blue sky.

I was lucky that day; forced to acknowledge the moment.  And it got me thinking, how much of life do we miss because we’re not fully present? read more »

When the Fish Aren’t Biting

One of my favorite memories has me standing knee deep in the Deschutes River of Central Oregon with my good friend, Tom.  The sun was setting over the ridge, the mayflies began to hatch and suddenly the fish went wild; flying out of the water and smacking anything we threw at them.  I saw more fish in five minutes than I had in all the days that preceded it.  And then, just as suddenly, the water was still…the bite was off.  Tom and I smiled at each other and packed it in; knowing that the long hours spent pressing each other forward had been very well rewarded.

In moments like that, when the fish are really biting you don’t need a well cast line or even a well tied fly.  You just need a hook in the water.  But when they’re not, and the days are endlessly quiet, you need all of these plus the encouragement of trusted friends.

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Welcome to Ramblings…

…a weekly blog by Robert Killen, founder of Apex Development Networks.  Here you will find thoughts on Communication, Networking and Professional Development.  And perhaps a bit about Art, Good Fishing, Lousy Golf and raising Three Fantastic Boys.  We hope you enjoy your visit.